Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!
Plot Summary: While trying to solve a cold case murder, a detective stumbles upon a feud between vampires.
Review: Well, I took too long to review this one before Netflix got rid of it, but you can track it down through other means (Amazon has it used for only a few dollars) if you feel so inclined. I don't know what to make of this movie, because it doesn't seem to make up its mind as to what it would like to be. You have a lot of softcore porn scenes, random bouts of action, the weirdest love triangle, a desire to instill a gothic feel in a feeble "Dracula" nod, a surprise ending, and the general sense of a film with an identity crisis. I can appreciate certain elements they were striving for, but, more often than not, I was utterly perplexed by the direction this film continued to take. But on a side note, I already mentioned how I would review a film called "Ghost Train," and that coincidentally stars the same actress from this movie, Aya Sugimoto. Everything's coming up Milhouse!
I hate to admit it (well, not really), but the best part of this film is the fan service. Those who are familiar with Ms. Sugimoto's work should expect to see some skin from her, and this film is no different. I have to say, Ms. Sugimoto is looking pretty damn good for her age and easily holds her own against the random chicks that end up being dinner for the villain. But as much as Ms. Sugimoto was holding my attention with her milf self, I was drawn to her maid, who looks a little more my style, played by a certain Ms. Sayo Yamaguchi. Unfortunately for me, and everyone else, my dear Ms. Yamaguchi does not show any skin, but she is clad in a mildly sexy outfit, kicks some major ass, and has mesmerizing blue eyes since she's supposed to be drinking vampire blood. More bad news though as I learned this is Ms. Yamaguchi's one and only acting role as far as any source in English I could track down claims. Say it ain't so?! Alright, all ogling aside, this movie does boast actor extraordinaire, Kanji Tsuda as the lead, who appears to be in every other Japanese movie. Of course I recognized him from his work in "Ju-on: The Grudge," but I didn't realize just how many movies he has done including shit I reviewed already (seriously,where was he in the "The Locker?"). The other best thing about this film is the surprise ending. The whole movie long you have this retarded, nonsensical, ill-defined, half assed love triangle between the main vampire, Miyako (Ms. Sugimoto), her former companion, Ukyo, and Mr. Tsuda's character, Hoshino. It gets so girly with the two guys fighting for her love, and she's hiding in a room pretending to wish such horror would end, when, in reality, she's fucking loving every moment of it. My darling Ms. Yamaguchi ends up sacrificing herself to save Hoshino, then Ukyo lets Hoshino kill him, and you think it will end with Hoshino getting back to banging the mess out of Miyako, but nope. He actually kills Miyako and then goes fishing--sort of--the end. Well, that's one way to end things. Okay, other than all the bullshit, the film looks good with some decent set designs even if not entirely thought out. I did like the imagery while the guys screwed Ms. Sugimoto because it looked kind of...dreamy and surreal. I guess that's the best way to describe that. I swear I was not just staring with my mouth hanging open! For realzies!
I may have made this movie sound humorously appealing with all the hype on the ladies, but let me lay out why this movie was still in the mediocre range even with frequent titties bouncing around. There are so many stupid moments in the story I don't care to list them all. The vampire mythology makes no sense in this incarnation; the vampires appear to have no weaknesses, but their powers are inconsistent and they seem easy to kill. Supposedly, vampires can regenerate from anything unless you burn them and put the ashes in a lead box (yeah okay), and even then they live on as some kind of disembodied souls. I don't know. The love triangle is lame--like cheap, romance novel levels of lame. Ukyo is a whiny little bitch who needs to get staked by Blade, and I can swoop in and have Ms. Yamaguchi for myself (hey, I can dream). There are roughly three fight scenes that come out of nowhere and feel beyond staged; the final battle is especially lengthy and eye roll-inducing. I don't get it, random fights do not fit the tone at all. The murder that sets the story in motion gets brushed under the rug, makes no sense, and is stupid. Plus, if Miyako's face is in the public, wouldn't people notice she's not aging?! There is some crap about Hoshino and Ukyo having a rare blood type that lets them become vampires, but come on. And we never learn jack about where Miyako came from, why she's the way she is, or whether or not there were ever any other vampires. There is an indication that Miyako has killed many people, but we get no details. And the biggest offense...the movie pointlessly killed off my precious Ms. Yamaguchi!
From a distance, this film looks good with a whole lot of eye candy, but at a closer inspection we see a shallow story surrounded by one dimensional characters and cliches galore. While I have to give extra points for the ladies, you know it's bad when they're pretty much all that's salvaging the film as a whole. There were good ideas, and, under certain conditions, these ideas could have been presented more coherently and with more depth. There were times when it felt like they wanted to invoke the feelings of classic vampire films, but then we'd jump to some random scene that totally killed the mood. Underneath the mess I sense a good film, because it starts off promising but goes downhill all too fast. I'd say check this one out if you're enticed by the ladies involved or you like the idea of pathetic love triangles, but keep in mind this is nothing near a porno. If even the ladies aren't working their magic for you, easily pass this one up.
Notable Moment: The ending of course. Given the tone of the film, you really don't see it coming.
Final Rating: 5.5/10
The alluring Ms. Yamaguchi; too bad she has yet to do another film.
